THE PERFIDY AND HORRIDITY OF THE
TED TURNER/MORMON CONSPIRACY
The conspiracy is exposed! For some time now, SWIM has been
doggedly researching and documenting this horrible conspiracy of
epic proportions. Powerful media magnate Ted Turner has joined
forces with Mormons, Inc to conquer the United States, control
it, and also to harvest wild sea pigs as commonly as land cattle
are shot in the US for hamburgers. This essay and accompanying
pictures will show the extent of this amazing revelation!
This mild mannered looking billionaire has a dark purpose. It is
to enslave the US population and force them to watch only his
cable programming, follow only the religion of his Mormon allies,
and turn his small sea pig harvesting business into a large sea
pig slaughtering empire. This next picture shows Turner on the
beach looking disgusted.
This is because he hates sea pigs. It is not known what this
stems from, but it is certain that it may involve a swimming
accident early in his youth involving sea pigs. Or he may have
been visited by Mormon missionaries, who convinced him of the sea
pig's "evilness", which is practiced by their version
of the bible, the book of latter day saints.
what this has to do with latters we dont know, but we do know
that several passages "reveal" the need to destroy sea
pigs as reservoirs of the devil. for instance, a passage in the
book of Philistemus reads 'Lo, and the sea pig is the conveyor of
death, bringer of blubber, eater of plants, it is the devils
work, and it must be smitten.' As anyone can see, this is plain
idiocy. but here we are today, and the mormons, who have been the
subject of articles in major magazines, continue to preach this.
In turners world, although he looks svelte, appealing and an
extremely alluring bachelor, would turn us into television
watching, sea pig feasing slaves. This below is obviously a
vision into the future of Ted Turner's dark world.
Even pets, yes, our beloved pets are not immune to his plan. They
will watch shows made for pets, in this case dog shows, possibly
such as 'hydrant hijinks' or 'kitty kat korner', will turn our
loving pets into sea pig swilling, pet show watching, bleary eyed
pet slaves.
At training camps across the country, pictured above, armies of
mindless people highly trained in the art of seduction are beign
trained to seduce us with this vision. A world where everything
is taken care of, babies are produced in tubes, and happiness
comes from a tv. Sea pigs would figure highly in this. It is
through Turners ever growing tv empire that he grows more
powerful. With his baseball team, the Atlanta Braves, he has sunk
our national pastime to a low, to bring down the price of
television stations all over so he can buy them cheap. because
even this billionaire is a cheapskate. Only Rupert Murdoch, a
friend of the sea pig and the sea, has been resisting. The US
government machine actively supports this plan, indeed it may
even be controlled by turner himself. His empire looks like this.
marching columns of tv antennas, poised to strike.
His minions are the tv stations, circling the US like buzzards
ready to swoop in and kill a helpless creature, such as the sea
pig.
and his warroom is this..a mormon temple, where he probably sits
on a golden throne, laughing maniacally, talking about his dark
purpose, and whatever other evil things he can think of. SWIM can
only speculate...
So, wherever you go, resist, watch another channel, or read a
book, or even better just read SWIM literature. it is pure,
wonderful, and without malice. Help your sea pig friends, its
just like the Nazis..they may come for the sea pig, and when they
do, if you dont speak up, who will speak when they come for you?
Thank about it.
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