THE PERFIDY AND HORRIDITY OF THE
TED TURNER/MORMON CONSPIRACY
The conspiracy is exposed! For some time now, SWIM has been doggedly researching and documenting this horrible conspiracy of epic proportions. Powerful media magnate Ted Turner has joined forces with Mormons, Inc to conquer the United States, control it, and also to harvest wild sea pigs as commonly as land cattle are shot in the US for hamburgers. This essay and accompanying pictures will show the extent of this amazing revelation!
This mild mannered looking billionaire has a dark purpose. It is to enslave the US population and force them to watch only his cable programming, follow only the religion of his Mormon allies, and turn his small sea pig harvesting business into a large sea pig slaughtering empire. This next picture shows Turner on the beach looking disgusted.
This is because he hates sea pigs. It is not known what this stems from, but it is certain that it may involve a swimming accident early in his youth involving sea pigs. Or he may have been visited by Mormon missionaries, who convinced him of the sea pig's "evilness", which is practiced by their version of the bible, the book of latter day saints.
what this has to do with latters we dont know, but we do know that several passages "reveal" the need to destroy sea pigs as reservoirs of the devil. for instance, a passage in the book of Philistemus reads 'Lo, and the sea pig is the conveyor of death, bringer of blubber, eater of plants, it is the devils work, and it must be smitten.' As anyone can see, this is plain idiocy. but here we are today, and the mormons, who have been the subject of articles in major magazines, continue to preach this.
In turners world, although he looks svelte, appealing and an extremely alluring bachelor, would turn us into television watching, sea pig feasing slaves. This below is obviously a vision into the future of Ted Turner's dark world.
Even pets, yes, our beloved pets are not immune to his plan. They will watch shows made for pets, in this case dog shows, possibly such as 'hydrant hijinks' or 'kitty kat korner', will turn our loving pets into sea pig swilling, pet show watching, bleary eyed pet slaves.
At training camps across the country, pictured above, armies of mindless people highly trained in the art of seduction are beign trained to seduce us with this vision. A world where everything is taken care of, babies are produced in tubes, and happiness comes from a tv. Sea pigs would figure highly in this. It is through Turners ever growing tv empire that he grows more powerful. With his baseball team, the Atlanta Braves, he has sunk our national pastime to a low, to bring down the price of television stations all over so he can buy them cheap. because even this billionaire is a cheapskate. Only Rupert Murdoch, a friend of the sea pig and the sea, has been resisting. The US government machine actively supports this plan, indeed it may even be controlled by turner himself. His empire looks like this.
marching columns of tv antennas, poised to strike.
His minions are the tv stations, circling the US like buzzards ready to swoop in and kill a helpless creature, such as the sea pig.
and his warroom is this..a mormon temple, where he probably sits on a golden throne, laughing maniacally, talking about his dark purpose, and whatever other evil things he can think of. SWIM can only speculate...
So, wherever you go, resist, watch another channel, or read a book, or even better just read SWIM literature. it is pure, wonderful, and without malice. Help your sea pig friends, its just like the Nazis..they may come for the sea pig, and when they do, if you dont speak up, who will speak when they come for you? Thank about it.
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